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National Escargot Day
May 24, 2020
Are you down with Heliculture? You should be. Who cares that it's about raising snails into food for humans; Heliculture is a sweet name. It's totally bitchin', brah. Get wit it, unless you want to stay and el-seven weenie.
National Wine Day
May 25, 2020
It's pretty easy to celebrate wine. There are a lot of folks that do it every day even without wine having a holiday. On this special occasion, we challenge you to kick it up a notch. Maybe strangle a snake and drink its blood.
National Cherry Dessert Day
May 26, 2020
There are so many cherry desserts, but honestly they are all booty butt cheeks compared to cherry pie. That's the one and true cherry dessert. Anyone that disagrees should take a trip into our hypnotizing machine.
National Grape Popsicle Day
May 27, 2020
It's time to crack open the freezer and eat some amazing grape treats. The fruit is alright on its own, but the Popsicle version is peak grape. That's why the word "Popsicle" needs to be capitalized; it's that dang good.
National Brisket Day
May 28, 2020
People love a rock hard chest. There' nothing better more tasty, in the bedroom or on your plate. This holiday is all about celebrating the flavors of pec muscles. Whether you eat a human or cow, chests are best.
