Food Holidays

National Pizza Day

Feb 9, 2020

God gave us the gift of pizza, and this is the time to thank Him. It's a true miracle of modern life. We take it for granite that this horrible world could have been way worse; we could have not had pizza.

National Potato Lover’s Day

Feb 8, 2020

This is a dedication to all the realest people out there getting their potato love on. It doesn't matter if you don't pay child support, beat your dog, or joined an international terrorist organization. Potatoes are bae.

National Fettuccine Alfredo Day

Feb 7, 2020

Making this raw is very difficult. You have to stretch the dough so thin to make the noodles, and powder the dough with cocaine on each pass. Like who has spare cocaine? Plus the white cream sauce. It's nasty to just think about that.

National Chopsticks Day

Feb 6, 2020

You use them to eat food, but they can do so much more. What about clapping them together instead of snapping your fingers in a jazz club? Do you have a short, fat penis but wish it was long and thin? Use chopsticks!

National Nutella Day

Feb 5, 2020

This is one of those treats that really sends you over the edge. Known for its orgasmic qualities, Nutella can make most women slide right out of their chairs. Once you learn the etymology, it's not hard to realize why it's so sexy.

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