Celebrate Chicken Wing Day
Jul 29
Rip the arms off a bird and start chomping, because that's what today is all about. Does that bird need to fly? You don't care, as long as you got the happy hour price. Actually the world melts away. You hear nothing while eating.
Celebrate Milk Chocolate Day
Jul 28
Nobody is going to say that chocolate is bad, unless they love to fight with people. Now the question is do you inject the milk, or keep it pure coco. Some people are purists, but today is all about the white cream in chocolate.
Celebrate Scotch Day
Jul 27
This hard liquor transforms people; makes them believe all kinds of silliness and lose touch on reality. If you're wearing a suit and drinking scotch, you feel amazing. It doesn't matter that you lost your job, you feel great.
Celebrate Coffee Milkshake Day
Jul 26
This is one of the greediest drinks you could ever have. A milkshake is already dairy juiced up with sugar, like a body builder cutting corners by sticking needles in his heinie. Add coffee to the mix and it's game over.
Celebrate Hot Fudge Sundae Day
Jul 25
Beta males just don't even know. Too intimidated by the raw power that hot fudge sundaes radiate. You actually need to be wearing sunscreen to consume one, if you're fair skinned. HFS takes no prisoners, because it doesn't have a jail.
