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National Fresh Squeezed Juice Day

Jan 15, 2020

Juice is always worth the squeeze. It makes the mighty mightier, and the murderous even better at murdering. Juice comes in a variety of flavors, so there is a good choice for every deviant on the planet. Grab yours today!


International Hot and Spicy Food Day

Jan 16, 2020

Around the world people try to handle the awesome power of hot and spicy food; however, a lot of people fail miserably. They need to have a glass of milk or vomit immediately. They are weak. You are not. You can handle all the spice.


National Hot Buttered Rum Day

Jan 17, 2020

This cocktail combines three of the most magnificent things known to mankind: rum, butter, and hotness. Whenever a powerful trio of ingredients come together, you create a really sick cocktail (or a recipe for the PowderPuff Girls).


National Gourmet Coffee Day

Jan 18, 2020

Gas station coffee and doughnut chain coffee is like drinking day old diarrhea. It's gnarly. Some people don't care, like heroin addicts that share needles. Today we honor the people that spend a little bit more for high quality drugs.


National Popcorn Day

Jan 19, 2020

You get popcorn at the movies so you can retain your sanity. Sitting in a dark place with strangers watching fantastical things on a giant screen; that's simply too much for the human brain to handle. You need popped corn to save you.


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