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National Homemade Soup Day
Feb 4, 2020
The easiest thing you can make at home. You actually don't even need to be at home to make it. If your home burns down, boom! You got a fire to help boil the soup to completion. Learn how everyone makes homemade soup.
National Nutella Day
Feb 5, 2020
This is one of those treats that really sends you over the edge. Known for its orgasmic qualities, Nutella can make most women slide right out of their chairs. Once you learn the etymology, it's not hard to realize why it's so sexy.
National Chopsticks Day
Feb 6, 2020
You use them to eat food, but they can do so much more. What about clapping them together instead of snapping your fingers in a jazz club? Do you have a short, fat penis but wish it was long and thin? Use chopsticks!
National Fettuccine Alfredo Day
Feb 7, 2020
Making this raw is very difficult. You have to stretch the dough so thin to make the noodles, and powder the dough with cocaine on each pass. Like who has spare cocaine? Plus the white cream sauce. It's nasty to just think about that.
National Potato Lover’s Day
Feb 8, 2020
This is a dedication to all the realest people out there getting their potato love on. It doesn't matter if you don't pay child support, beat your dog, or joined an international terrorist organization. Potatoes are bae.
