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National Bittersweet Chocolate Day
Jan 10, 2020
Breaking up is hard, but sometimes it's meant to be. Like you thought the two of you would get married, but then you discovered your partners cheated on you with a child. Time to drop them and pick up some bittersweet chocolate.
National Milk Day
Jan 11, 2020
Milk is the juice you squeeze out of a cow. That creature uses it for their babies or something, but humans decided to hijack it. At the end of the day a human in need of calcium is essentially a baby calf. Learn more with this video.
National Glazed Doughnut Day
Jan 12, 2020
This sweet treat is something that will literally make you go mad. If you eat it, you will be hit with a sugar high. Once you come down from that high, everything appears to be a glazed doughnut. That's because you need that fix.
National Gluten-Free Day
Jan 13, 2020
This substance has been plaguing human beings for centuries. This gang of protein shakes you down harder than a kale smoothie. You need a break from these racketeers, and that's what today is all about. Get Gluten out of our America!
National Hot Pastrami Sandwich Day
Jan 14, 2020
The hotness is when something is smooth and dope. It's also when a meat is so fine when it's thin sliced that you don't care about temperature. Well it's best when it's a hot pastrami, but let's face it pastrami is always poppin' off.
