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National Cheese Doodle Day
Mar 5, 2020
The secrets of the universe are revealed to us in code. One of the key components to deciphering that code is cheese doodles. They are a gift from the heavens. Puffed air that tastes like cheese ... we are not worthy.
National Oreo Day
Mar 6, 2020
One of the greatest cookies of all time is in a lot of trouble: people don't respect the regular level of filling. Double stuffed is a new normal, and Oreo needs get with it. If Oreo doesn't double in size all the time, war will ensue.
National Cereal Day
Mar 7, 2020
We crush cereal on the daily, but we don't pour a bowl for the milk producers. Cows, goats, and nuts go overlooked every morning. These creatures and fruits (yes, nuts are fruits) make their own milk, so let's get them so cereal.
National Peanut Cluster Day
Mar 8, 2020
When peanuts cluster together like an asteroid forming, there are two outcomes: a great candy or a gnarly poop. There is no in between, but at least both outcomes remind you of Babe Ruth. You end up with the candy or the turd.
National Meatball Day
Mar 9, 2020
Everyone knows that meatballs taste great. What's overlooked is the fact that meatballs suck at being balls. You can't bounce them. You can't play baseball with them. Why are meatballs even balls? We find out why.
