National “Have a Brownie” Day
Feb 10, 2020
There's only one word to describe someone that eats a brownie: brave. It takes incredible self confidence or crippling depression to get yourself to eat a delicious, gooey brownie. Damn, they are tasty.
National Pizza Day
Feb 9, 2020
God gave us the gift of pizza, and this is the time to thank Him. It's a true miracle of modern life. We take it for granite that this horrible world could have been way worse; we could have not had pizza.
National Potato Lover’s Day
Feb 8, 2020
This is a dedication to all the realest people out there getting their potato love on. It doesn't matter if you don't pay child support, beat your dog, or joined an international terrorist organization. Potatoes are bae.
National Fettuccine Alfredo Day
Feb 7, 2020
Making this raw is very difficult. You have to stretch the dough so thin to make the noodles, and powder the dough with cocaine on each pass. Like who has spare cocaine? Plus the white cream sauce. It's nasty to just think about that.
National Chopsticks Day
Feb 6, 2020
You use them to eat food, but they can do so much more. What about clapping them together instead of snapping your fingers in a jazz club? Do you have a short, fat penis but wish it was long and thin? Use chopsticks!
