National Dark Chocolate Day
Feb 1, 2020
This is the sexiest of all the chocolates. It gets all the sex organs leaking, and with one bite they start gushing. It's just a fact. Scientists would test it, but Christian colleges have blocked the research. But we know the truth.
National Hot Chocolate Day
Jan 31, 2020
This is one of the greatest drinks of all time. Nobody deserves its powerful flavor. We should be grateful that we can eat butt. Someone is letting you put your face between their cheeks, and we don't care. Unbelievable.
National Croissant Day
Jan 30, 2020
Looking for a sugary breakfast treat that will also make you horny? Well look no further because the Croissant is your angel from heaven. It will load you up with a sugar high before you answer your emails, plus make you rock hard.
National Corn Chip Day
Jan 29, 2020
Corn chips will snap you back to reality, letting gravity take a hike. Forget about mom's spaghetti, or her breast milk, or the dry tree bark she used to feed you. It's corn chip time. So grab some queso, and let's get after it.
National Blueberry Pancake Day
Jan 28, 2020
This sweet dessert treat gives women the power to wear loud leggings and teach other ladies how to do workout dances. The Latin flavor makes it extra spicy, which means we need blueberry pancakes to see us through.
