I want to spend time with you, not role play your domination of the globe. Your affinity for strategy board games makes it impossible to just hang.
Servers tend to forget you are a big eating woman. Your appetite can't be tamed. And men love it. Learn to be proud of your beast mode level of hunger.
Everyone wants to lose weight, and the Celeste Pizza Diet is hands-down the best way to do it. Learn how this man did it.
Learn that the staff and patrons don't care about a kitchen fire. When the alarm sounds, just scream, "White rice, please!"
This list of board game house rules will turn ordinary board games into fun adventures of royal stature. No more shall you play Monopoly like a peasant.