How to Raise a Food Baby into a Successful Food Adult

Megan Goetz | Apr 3, 2017

Oh man, you shouldn’t have gotten an appetizer. The main dish is so delicious and you’re going to finish the entire thing! Out of nowhere you’ve found yourself the new parent of an adorable food baby. Congratulations, You!

5 Tips for Raising a Food Baby into a Food Adult

The different ways to raise a food baby into a food adult you can be proud of may be overwhelming. There are many studies and other food parents that want to give their opinions on food baby rearing. Below is the best, most exhaustive list of how to raise your food baby.

1. Be Observant of the Shy Ones

Food babies usually protrude in confidence. Some even requiring you to unbutton your pants under the table. When I had my first beautiful food baby, it was beaming with confidence, just a perfect little ball of joy. You must remember that not all food babies are born with that confidence. You can feel full, but find that your lil’ guy isn’t protruding. The most important thing is to make sure you aren’t sheltering your food baby. Don’t hide it under that hoodie or sweat pants. You think you’re helping, but you’re enabling your food baby’s behavioral inhibition. This can lead to anxiety disorders in its food adulthood.

2. Read Your Food Baby’s Emotions

This will always be tricky for new food parents. Most food babies don’t know how to express the emotions they’re going through. I struggled with this one. Yes, even certified "Super Moms" like me can lose their confidence with a finicky babe. This can lead to discomfort for both you and your baby. When you start to notice that your baby is becoming an unhappy camper, address it. Rub your food baby and acknowledge its grumbly-ness. You want to address it before you get a little nom-ster on your hands. Belly rubbing tends to makes most food babies content.

3. Be Sure to Get Both Parents Involved

It’s important for any growing food baby to know the love and support of both parents. This could be the restaurant chef or your actual significant other. If you’re having a particularly rough time getting through to your food baby, have the other parent give it a try. Teamwork makes the dream work, as my household always says. My significant other likes to rub my belly until the tension subsides. Sometimes he'll even hum my favorite song, Landslide by Fleetwood Mac. If the song isn't helpful, food babies also like when you hum their nicknames as you have your belly rubbed. Try humming the nicknames Dynamo and Juggernaut softly. This will do wonders for your food child.

4. Give the Baby Playmates

A social food baby will become a successful food adult. If you’ve gone out to dinner this should be easy, just make sure the food babies are interacting. I've hand picked my friends I eat with, so that my lil guy only hangs with winners. Even tiny murmurs to each other are a good sign that the babies enjoy their companions. You don’t want a food baby that sticks to itself, because they tend to take longer to leave the nest. That's what I've heard at least, I've never had that problem.

5. Keeping a Positive Attitude

You’re a fighter. That’s what got you into this situation in the first place. You fought through your body telling you to stop eating. You will persevere through raising this food baby to greatness. You will feel like your little Juggernaut has gotten you at your wit's end, but remember you love this baby. It can be hard, when you’re sleep deprived and uncomfortable, remember it’s all worth it. It wasn't hard for me, but I just have a knack for this. You'll get there.

Final Thoughts

This is the complete exhaustive list of how to raise your food baby into a food adult the world needs. This food adult will at least get into 3 of its top 5 college picks. It will hold the door open for old ladies, if it’s not too distracted with Instagram. It’s going to be just fine and that’s all because of you.

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