Celebrate Pineapple Upside-Down Cake Day
Apr 20
Eating regular cake is so bad for you. It's actually how all humans on earth die. Each slice takes years off your life, and ups the chances to be hit by a car. But you can reverse that damage with Pineapple Upside-Down Cake.
Celebrate Rice Ball Day
Apr 19
Easily the most shapeist grain, rice think balls are the superior shape. They don't care for squares, triangles, or even circles. Part of the reason is because 2-D shapes don't really help 3-D rice, but also rice has hate in its heart.
Celebrate Animal Crackers Day
Apr 18
Eating animals is a lot of fun, until you remember that something had to die. That's stinky. That's why animal crackers are so magical: you get to have the experience of biting into an animal, without the creature actually dying.
Celebrate Cheeseball Day
Apr 17
Cheeseballs have never been filmed or photographed. Don't worry about the image to the right. They said it's a cheeseball, but you can't trust photographers these days. Have you ever seen a cheeseball in real life?
Celebrate Eggs Benedict Day
Apr 16
Tired of eating out of boxes? You should order a plate of Eggs Benedict, a dish so elegant it can't even be caught dead inside a box; therefore, it will be cremated instead of buried. You do need to go to brunch to get this though.
