Celebrate Glazed Ham Day
Apr 15
Ham is literally a pig's butt cheek. That's where the meat comes from. Would you really eat a heinie? Of course you would, because butts are delicious. The glutes are known for having so much flavor, hence our attraction to butts.
Celebrate Pecan Day
Apr 14
As of the time of this writing, the U.S. Pecan Organization still uses very questionable names to describe different sizes of pecans. Is one of them a slur? Yes. Do you want to know which slur they used? Of course you do.
Celebrate Peach Cobbler Day
Apr 13
The cheeks are popping as we celebrate all those shoemaker's with the thick booties. There's a reason this dessert is called peach cobbler: it's juicy, decadent, and forbidden just like eating a shoemaker's butt.
Celebrate Grilled Cheese Sandwich Day
Apr 12
Parents make them for kids. Hipsters in cafes make them for young professionals. We're talking about grilled cheese sandwiches; the best sandwich known to mankind. Even people that are lactose intolerant tolerate grilled cheese.
Celebrate Cheese Fondue Day
Apr 11
This hot, gooey, cheesy goodness can only be equated to one thing: the epic corn-ballery that is dad jokes. The puns that make you moan and want to puncture your ear drums. That level of cheesy. That's fondue dad joke cheesy.
