Food Holidays

There's a new food holiday every day, and we have something to say about each of them.

Celebrate Glazed Ham Day

Apr 15

Ham is literally a pig's butt cheek. That's where the meat comes from. Would you really eat a heinie? Of course you would, because butts are delicious. The glutes are known for having so much flavor, hence our attraction to butts.


Celebrate Pecan Day

Apr 14

As of the time of this writing, the U.S. Pecan Organization still uses very questionable names to describe different sizes of pecans. Is one of them a slur? Yes. Do you want to know which slur they used? Of course you do.


Celebrate Peach Cobbler Day

Apr 13

The cheeks are popping as we celebrate all those shoemaker's with the thick booties. There's a reason this dessert is called peach cobbler: it's juicy, decadent, and forbidden just like eating a shoemaker's butt.


Celebrate Grilled Cheese Sandwich Day

Apr 12

Parents make them for kids. Hipsters in cafes make them for young professionals. We're talking about grilled cheese sandwiches; the best sandwich known to mankind. Even people that are lactose intolerant tolerate grilled cheese.


Celebrate Cheese Fondue Day

Apr 11

This hot, gooey, cheesy goodness can only be equated to one thing: the epic corn-ballery that is dad jokes. The puns that make you moan and want to puncture your ear drums. That level of cheesy. That's fondue dad joke cheesy.


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