National Dark Chocolate Day

Feb 1, 2020

Are you dry down there? Do you wish your penis leaked? Eat some dark chocolate and you'll cure those problems in no time!

Dark Chocolate Activates Sex Organs

Sometimes old wives tales are more true than reality. One bite of dark chocolate will immediately make your bits ready to rock and roll. If you got a cavern, consider it an underground river. If you carry a trouser snake, it's now as stiff as Jafar's specter. Dark chocolate does that to the body, but its up to you to activate the soul. Just because your sausage or taco is ready doesn't mean you want to eat. Follow your heart and stay away from people's parts if they're not feeling your advances. It's best to stay away from dark chocolate if you have trouble controlling your urges, especially if you are on no fap. This is way they sell milk chocolate in the stores.

IMPORTANT: if you believed the last paragraph and you still give children dark chocolate, you need to check yourself.

Christians Blocking Dark Chocolate Sex Research

The previous paragraph is a theory in the making, but there are not enough studies to give it some real credence. Right now it's in independent YouTuber stage. Like this article and a few Reddit comments are enough to give someone who vlogs as a faux scientist enough ammo to make a video about how dark chocolate makes you horny. Real science journal require more hard evidence. Unfortunately the funding in this area is not that strong, and it's probably due to Christians. In all honesty, we're not sure. They probably wouldn't like it, but it's fine. No one actually reads articles anymore. Most people don't even make it to the page. They already shared this on Facebook, letting their relatives know that dark chocolate will make them hard. It would be a miracle if someone actually read all the way to this sentence. Assuming you made it this far, we salute you. Thank you for loving comedy. If you haven't done so already, you should consider checking out our podcast.

Happy National Dark Chocolate Day Video

In this video, we are celebrating Dark Chocolate Day. This comedy video will be short, sweet, and most of all silly. It will celebrate all things Dark Chocolate in a totally humorous way. Enjoy!

Share Dark Chocolate Day With a Friend

Use one of the buttons below to share Dark Chocolate Day with your social network. These food holidays are a fun time, so spread the love. Your friends and family will get a kick out of it.

Infographics Coming Soon

Infographics can be very informative, and also hilarious. We plan to release new ones every day for a year, but just not yet. Learn why and how you can make sure to get them when they come out.

Categories: Food Holidays

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