National Artichoke Heart Day
Mar 16, 2020
Artichoke hearts are flowers, except they aren't fully formed. If you enjoy eating artichoke hearts, you like eating plant fetuses. It's okay though. Just go Temple of Doom on the artichoke and rip the heart straight out of the chest.
National Peanut Lovers’ Day
Mar 15, 2020
Do you freak? If you are sexually activated, how deep do you go into the pool of freakiness? A true peanut lover is all about the bedroom fun time. So much so they are willing to mix in a bit of tickle to their adult play.
National Potato Chip Day
Mar 14, 2020
It's peak potato, and also peak peak (suck it, Mount Everest). Nothing in life comes close to the glory of a potato chip crunch. You can keep all things that are good. As long as you give a man potato chips, he'll survive.
National Chicken Noodle Soup Day
Mar 13, 2020
This is the sluttiest soup of all time. If soups could use dating apps, chicken noodle would swipe right on everything. This soup got a book for everybody, and we know what CNS is really about. They trying to bed you.
National Milky Way Day
Mar 12, 2020
Forget tasting the rainbow when you can taste the galaxy. Milky Way candy bars let you sink your teeth into the magic that is outer space, hence why this treat is best served cold. Also that's why it has a vast and empty flavor.
