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National Chocolate Wafer Day
Jul 3, 2020
People love chocolate, but haters shame them for eating it. Tell those health nerds to suck it, because today you're going to find out that chocolate has tons of benefits. Plus wafers have oxygen, so they help you breathe.
National Barbecue Day
Jul 4, 2020
The Fourth of July is a fun holiday. Fireworks, drinking, and best of all BBQ. Nothing like barbecue to make a boy a man, no matter how wack the dude. And be careful ladies, because the raw power of BBQ could have negative effects.
National Apple Turnover Day
Jul 5, 2020
Doctors tell you to eat your fruits and vegetables, but they've been compromised; everyone knows that doctors are in the pocket of big farms. If you want to keep the doc off your back, make your fruit intake in portable pie form.
National Fried Chicken Day
Jul 6, 2020
You could stop eating meat and cheese and chicken. But could you really let go of fried chicken? Maybe, but there are some people that just can't say no. Grand parents need their fried chicken. What would kids eats with chicken?
National Strawberry Sundae Day
Jul 7, 2020
Ice cream is great. Strawberries are tasty too. Hey, let's celebrate them. "Yeah, but, we have celebrated something strawberry like every month this year. Can we do something else?" No. We cannot. The calendar has decreed it.
