National Ranch Dressing Day

Mar 10, 2020

Dab on some of this dressing, and you can eat any veggie.

Vegetables Are Gross and Nasty

Everyone knows that vegetables are disgusting. They grow in the dirt, and who wants to eat dirt? Vegetables also become stronger when they grow in fertilizer. The best types of fertilizer are made from horse diarrhea. Vegetables are soaking that in. Those fertilizer cooties are making it onto your plate. Doctors far and wide like to ignore these facts, which is quite irresponsible. You need to trust your gut, and swear off vegetables in most situations.

Ranch Dressing Makes It Possible To Eat Veggies

The beauty of ranch dressing is that it tastes fabulous. This masks all the gross flavors coming from vegetables. Doctors are right that you need veggies for a healthy diet, but without ranch, the taste is too much to bare. That's why before ranch people would get scurvy; they weren't getting enough lemons, but now you can have lemons with ranch (yes, lemons are a fruit, but fruits are vegetables). Ranch dressing also have a detoxifying effect on fertilizer cooties. This means that if you eat vegetables with ranch dressing, you won't be affected by any fecal energy.

Happy National Ranch Dressing Day Video

In this video, we are celebrating Ranch Dressing Day. This comedy video will be short, sweet, and most of all silly. It will celebrate all things Ranch Dressing in a totally humorous way. Enjoy!

Share Ranch Dressing Day With a Friend

Use one of the buttons below to share Ranch Dressing Day with your social network. These food holidays are a fun time, so spread the love. Your friends and family will get a kick out of it.

Infographics Coming Soon

Infographics can be very informative, and also hilarious. We plan to release new ones every day for a year, but just not yet. Learn why and how you can make sure to get them when they come out.

Categories: Food Holidays

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