Pound For Pound The Best Pound

There are a lot of things in the world that try to take ownership of the word "pound". There are those metal cages lined up against the wall housing unwanted dogs. There is that Monopoly money British people use instead of USD. People give each other pounds, but who actually wants to punch another fist? When we give each other pounds, it should be slices of a delicious cake. That's how friendship is made. A recent study by the Institute For Average Men (I-FAT) discovered that people like it when you give them desserts; furthermore, people really like it when the dessert is a pound. The study does not dive into the details of what they mean by "a pound", so it could literally mean any definition. Did the population like desserts better when they received British currency? We don't know. Did they like sweet treats more when they inherited a shelter for unwanted animals? We have no clue. What we do know: pound cake is delicious, and you should be eating it (all the time).*

*Editor's Note: we regret using the parenthetical at the end of the last sentence. This type of punctuation is reserved for additional and unessential information, and in this case that's just not true. Everyone SHOULD be eating pound cake all the time. Thank you.

How To Make Pound Cake

You buy it, preferably from someone that's really good at making it. Bonus points if you can trick them into giving it to you instead of paying. Examples include holidays and weapons.

Pound Cake Will Give You Gifts

Pound cake is generous at heart. It knows it's the best thing using the word "pound", even though it doesn't have the street cred. Since pound cake is just a great gal (spoiler: it's a girl!), she likes to be the best aunt to everyone. When you consume a slice of pound cake, sugar rushes through your body and makes you high. This could help you see the world in a new light, and understand that God is inside all of us. It will most likely make you hype, or back to normal if you eat a lot of sugar, then you will crash. The potential is there, and pound cake wants you to realize that potential. Next time you think about grabbing a slice of PC, take it with you out into the dessert. Let loose and live you best life with pound cake.

Happy National Poundcake Day Video

In this video, we are celebrating Poundcake Day. This comedy video will be short, sweet, and most of all silly. It will celebrate all things Poundcake in a totally humorous way. Enjoy!

Categories: Food Holidays