Running Leads Nowhere, Beer Proven to be Superior

Brian Durkin | Aug 16, 2015

Tired of jogging junkies pushing their habit on you? Fear no longer. Stop running because now you have science to back up why beer is better than running.

Stop Running. It is Bad

Dr. James O'Keefe Jr. did a TEDtalk on the dangers of running long distances. At the time of his talk he was the director of Preventative Cardiology Fellowship Program and the Director of Preventative Cardiology at Cardiovascular Consultants. One might call him an expert. He's quoted saying, "The fitness patterns for conferring longevity and robust lifelong cardiovascular health are distinctly different from the patterns that develop peak performance and marathon/superhuman endurance. " In his research he suggest running no more than an hour a day. This assumes the runner does his or her vice in a safe space. Those located in metropolitan and areas with high populations breath in pollution and smog. Breathing in dirty air reverses the minimal health benefits of marathon running. It's also a well known fact that running is terrible for burning fat.

Start Drinking. Beer is Good

Speaking of fat, beer bellies are a myth.There is nothing special about beer that will create a gut on a person. Of course attempt to avoid over consumption of alcohol or calories. Beer doesn't have any magic powers to blow up your gut like Pinocchio's noise. As for cardiovascular health, beer can be effective against respiratory syncytial (sin-SISH-uhl) virus. Beer contains all types of nutrients your body needs. Running just burns them away in a needless fashion. The hoppy chemical compound humone found in beer prevents pneumonia and winter colds. Is your child afflicted with these conditions right now? Japanese researchers suggest letting your baby pour down a pint. At the end of the day even runners drink beer. Most races supply drink tickets in the compensation package. They need to help the runner justify spending money to do what would otherwise always be free. At the end of a long race runners need the restorative powers of beer to bounce back. In the immortal words of Ellie Golding: "what are you waiting for?" Slow down and grab a pint.

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Categories: Comedy | Comedy Articles

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